Cookies + Diet Coke = No man

So as you may know, I teach 1st grade. For those of you who know me, I love a good story, and, let's be real, kids make the best stories. I am fortunate to have some very entertaining students in my class. Before I tell you this story, let me say that I LOVE every child in my rooml; however, there are moments where I want to call their parents and ask them "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR CHILD?" but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, on to my story. Some of you may or may not of heard this one before, but I feel as if it is a constantly developing story in my life. Upon the beginning of the school year I informed my class that no I was not married, did not have children, moved here by myself, etc. You would think this subject, the one of marriage, wouldn't be brought up again after this point. You, my friend, would be wrong.

I would say at least 1-3 times a week I get asked, by my students, if I am married. In the beginning, it was kinda cute. I responded with, "No" then they would ask if I have kids and I would kindly respond, "No" then they ask, "Well do you have a boyfriend" and I would kindly laugh and say, "Aww, go sit down." Well the honeymoon of that question is over. Now I respond with, "No." "Didn't I already tell you I WASN'T married?" "Please stop asking me that." "Sit down and be quiet." I say all that to get to this.

I love sweets. Love them. Cookies, candy, ice cream, anything delicious and awful are my weakness. Well I used to bring Chips Ahoy Candy Blast cookies in my lunch everyday. They're delish, I love them, can't get enough of them. They were my special treat for having to wake up at the crack and face 18 6 year olds. I also have a delicious Diet Coke every day with lunch. No I am not on a diet. I just love them. Well, one day at lunch, I was asked the age old question. I said, "Guys, you know I'm not married." Then one sweet sweet child asked "Miss Shrop, when are you gonna get married." and I smiled and said "I don't know, I guess when God wants me to." Such a sweet child. Then speaks a not so sweet child. He says, and I quote "Miss Shrop, you on a diet? ("NO") Then how come you drink that drink? ("Because I like it.") Man, Miss Shrop, you gotta get you a man! Why you be eatin them cookies? You ain't gonna get you a man if you keep eatin all them cookies!" That child had silent lunch for the rest of lunch. This comment then resulted in others telling him he was rude and then a brief discussion from another boy about how you "don't be telling a woman that! And you don't ask her age or how much she weigh!"

So, in conclusion, don't eat cookies around children. They either try to tell you how much they love them so you end up giving them to you, or they tell you how fat you will become upon consuming them. Needless to say, Candy Blasts cookies haven't graced my lunch box since that day. Maybe one day they will again.